Teach A Man To Fish…

“You can give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day.  Teach a man to fish, and he’ll eat for a lifetime.” – Confucius.

OK, so I don’t fish, BUT – I do cook.  One of the joys of motherhood is teaching my children to cook.
Annie is eleven now, so she’s wanting to learn more and more things such as using the oven.  Today’s cooking lesson?  Pizza.
First step – Kneading the dough.  I told her she had to be aggressive, like when you punch your pillow when you are mad at your sister.  Yes, of course I knew you did that.

Next up, tossing the dough ball.  This is almost as much fun as telling your brother there is a sticker on his back and then making him chase it.
(There’s video of the tossing on the video blog – here.)
 
Mmmmm… now the toppings.  She decided to make a Margharita pizza with mozzarella, parmesean, and basil.  Does my kid have a distinguished palate or what???

Into the oven…
Direct Quote - “It’s really hot in there Mom….”
Um, Yea….

The finished Product --
Yes, you do have to eat it kids – ESPECIALLY because Annie made it…

"No teaching is equal, more spiritually rewarding, or more exalting than that of a mother teaching her children."  - Boyd K. Packer

Faith In Motherhood

I found myself sitting in Sacrament meeting today – well less sitting and more wrestling with Jesse and Elizabeth while they tried to either poke each other’s eyes out or pull one another’s hair– wondering if there would ever be a time where I would be able to sit and listen to the talks, the music, even the prayers without having to whisper sharply to one of the children to stop biting each other or to sit and be reverent.
I remember thinking that I’d much rather be home, enjoying the moments that come with Saturday and Sunday mornings – time where the kids can be themselves, free of restrictions and reverence requirements.  Suddenly I felt a twinge of guilt.  I wanted to be home – not sitting in this Sacrament meeting – in fact, in this particular moment anywhere away from this pew, this moment – would have been bliss.
I felt similarly struck as I sat through Sunday School in the foyer with Alison on my lap crying that she doesn’t want to go to Nursery with the occasional “I DON'T WANT TO” at the top of her lungs for added emphasis.
I often wonder if it’s a crisis of faith, a lack of lessons learned in my youth, on some days I even wonder if my own testimony might be in question.  What kind of person am I that there are times that church is the last place I want to be?  I have spent countless hours and quiet moments (when they could be found) soul searching, in moments of quiet prayer, in scripture study.  I’ve determined one thing.  My faith, my testimony are very much in tact.  I know the Gospel is true.   I have a testimony in the power of prayer and in the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon.  I know Joseph Smith is a prophet, and Thomas S. Monson is one today.  I have no doubts in the power of the Priesthood.  Why then these feelings?
I think I simply become overwhelmed.
Every Sunday I am reminded of these five precious (and precousious) children that I am responsible for.  I am responsible for their safety. I am responsible for their health.  I am responsible for their spiritual fulfillment.  Me.  How I teach them and the environment I give them is going to directly affect their future and their eternity.

"We shall prosper and build up Zion upon the earth; for this is our mission, and the work of your mothers and daughters of Zion—the mothers now, and by and by the daughters, who will, in turn, be mothers in Israel. Great responsibility rests upon you. Upon you depend the training and the direction of the thoughts and the inspiration of the hearts of your children, for they drink into the spirit of their mothers, and the influence of the mother over the children is the most enduring impression that can be made. There is nothing so imperishable as the influence of the mother; that is when she is good and has the spirit of the Gospel in her heart, and she has brought up her children in the way they should go." – Joseph F Smith

That is a lot to think about.
That is a lot to put on a woman.
That is a lot for me.
However:

“You women, be good women, be good mothers. Be kind and gracious and generous. Strengthen your children with your faith and your testimony. Lift them up. Help them to walk through the troubled ways of the world as they grow in this very difficult age. Support, sustain, uphold, and bless your husbands with your love and your encouragement; and the Lord will bless you.” – Gordon B Hinkley

The Lord Will Bless You.
He has, he does and he will continue to.
And that is what gets me through another day, another meeting, another week sitting in the foyer.

Jack Of All Trades, Master of None

Growing up, I had a dream.  I wanted to become a florist or a baker with my own shop.  I wanted to be surrounded by fragrant flowers and sweet pastries.  I wanted to go to Paris and Italy.  I wanted to travel.
After graduating from high school I moved to Utah, although I had gotten into BYU – I chose not to go.  I got married.  I started my family.  A year later, I was divorced with a one year old – and found myself wondering where my dreams had gone.
Two things I must clarify before you read any further.
1) I do not regret any of my life choices.
2) I firmly believe that dreams do not change, they evolve.
I went through a long period of time where I threw myself a pity party.  I was worried that the choices I had made had derailed my path to pastries and flowers and ultimate happiness.  But – every time I looked into my sweet Annie’s face, and knew that not only had my future not derailed, it had only just begun.
I look at my friends from high school, and how they are completely living the dream they had outlined for themselves.  I talk to complete strangers who find out I was married at 20, and now have five children – and no, I never did complete my college degree (not yet anyway).
Being a single mom for two years, I was forced to try new directions.  I tried working in different industries, I took odd jobs.  I learned many, many new things.  I found out I was good at technology, I had an eye for graphic design and I was also learning to cook more – with less.  The point is, I didn’t ignore anything simply because it didn’t fit in with my “plan”.
My husband and I married in 2001.  He finished his degree at BYU and I was able to stay home with our rapidly growing family.  I still nurtured thoughts of having my own business – but my children always came first.  They were my happiness, and that is all there is to it.
I do many things.  I try new things.  I don’t stick with any one thing long enough to master it (it seems) – except for one.  I am a mom.  I’m a mommy.  I am Momma.  If there is but one path I can follow in my life, I’m pretty satisfied with the one that has found me.
Some may still be asking “why?” – Why in this age of working and having it all do I still choose the seemingly “old fashioned” role of stay at home mom?
This is why.